Head in the sand? Don’t mind if I do!

For about a year now I have used this blog to discuss two significant aspects of my life: Being a foreigner, and being a young, fitness-minded woman. Sure, lots of other parts have fluttered in and out of my ramblings, but these two are the main focus. Over the past couple of months, neither of these were things I felt like celebrating. I could have used this space as a place to discuss the negativity I was feeling towards both, but I took the “head in the sand” approach opting to float around instead. I’ll be honest, I needed that time. But now is the time to refocus my thoughts and energy. Before I do, a word about my avoidance.

The last you heard from me, I had posted an article regarding a missing American tourist in Istanbul, a NY woman named Sarai Sierra. In a devastating turn of events, her body was found among the city walls about a week and a half later. I won’t go into the theories surrounding her murder, the loopholes in the investigation, and the answers that will never be answered, despite law enforcements’ “attempt” to do so. I find it hard to believe anything said regarding this case. And oddly enough, that’s not the upsetting part. As a foreign woman living alone and single in Istanbul, I understand the curiosity surrounding a woman’s choice to be here. However, the local reactions to this woman traveling here alone were appalling. The general consensus was that a married woman with children had no right to travel abroad without her husband and family. She must have had lovers and came just to cheat on her husband. She was trying to escape from being a mother and came to abandon her children. In a sense, this woman lost her identity and personal freedom when she got married. All chances for any personal explorations were forfeited. Come on, Turkey. We may never know what her plans were coming here. Maybe photography. Maybe a need to have some personal time away from being a wife and mother (because wives and mothers are still WOMEN at the core). Maybe something else we can’t even imagine. Whatever the reason, have enough respect for women to honor that they have the right to make choices in their lives, and do not actually lose all sense of individuality upon the signature of a marriage license.
Back to me…I really don’t know exactly what was said in the American media regarding this case. But after everything I heard and read here, I just wanted to forget I was among that population of foreign women who chose to come to Istanbul. In my opinion, the community of foreign women in this city is strong, diverse, and respectable. The country’s reaction to this foreign woman in Istanbul disgusted me.

And my avoidance to fitness? A knee injury. A very bad knee injury. It took me weeks just to be able to take my dog for his required 2-3 hours of daily walks. Running? Forget it. This is one of my favorite times of year to run in this city, and missing out on it has been heartbreaking. When I can’t run, something changes inside me from bursting light to engulfing darkness. And then just last week I was in a hurry to get back to my friend’s apartment (wine was waiting!) She just lives around the corner, so there was really no need to rush. Still, I decided to give running a try for that short distance. It felt amazing. At the risk of sounding like a big ol’ ball of clichés, I felt as if I was flying, even if just for a moment. That depression switched back into Runner’s Passion. My knee isn’t quite ready for my long distance journeys yet, but I’m going to start preparing my body in other ways for its return.

Spring is coming. This season is on *my* terms, Istanbul…

Morning Commute Musings by a Cranky-Ass Foreigner

The Exotic American was very tired and extremely cranky this morning. (In all honesty, she still is as she types this, but here’s to optimism.)
A few observations on the commute to work today; things that transcend culture, country, and language…
1-Morning radio shows suck no matter what country you live in. Shut up and play the damn the music. No one cares what you have to say. And why do you all have the same voice???
2-Teenagers in Turkey should not be allowed to speak before 8am. Maybe in America too, I don’t know. I don’t remember.
3- It is not fun sitting next to someone on a bus for 30 minutes who wears the same cologne as your ex-boyfriend. Can I punch you in the throat just by association?
So if your day got off to a cranky start, no matter where in the world you are, know that you are not alone.

New Year, New Distractions

Well kids, the Exotic American has been eating like a half-marathon trainee. Sadly, she has not actually been training for a half, so it’s time to step up the fitness. I have no “lose weight” resolutions this year, but let’s face it, this fitness thing is just what I do.

Speaking of resolutions, mine, in case you were wondering, is more so a couple of mottos:
1) Wait for nothing. Wait for no one.
2) Dog. Work. Run. Repeat.
Through these I hope to remain focused on what is important, lessen the importance of things that just aren’t, and hold on to the strength I demonstrated at the of 2012. If I am to be at all successful in any of my 2013 endeavors, I need to remained focused on these two things.

And fitness! While in the USA over Christmas, I acquired some amazing new running gear. I got my feet analyzed at The Sneaker Factory of Pier Village in West End Long Branch. The end result was a pair of Mizunos that perfectly fit both my feet and my running environment. If you have the chance, get your feet analyzed!
I was also able to get things such as shirts, socks, etc, that are specifically for running and about 1/2 the cost that they’d be in Istanbul. Yeay smuggling!

So this week I am back on track with fitness. Thanks to Mr. High Energy Husky, I always have daily walks to keep me going. But I need to step it up. I’ve done a couple of good strong runs, and today will experiment with something. This chick ain’t afraid of doing sports in winter weather, thanking again Mr. High Energy Husky.

So I’m gonna creative, get focused, get back on track. Wish me luck

How to make life not suck, and other ways to greet the New Year

Happy New Year from the Exotic American…

I know we have all seen them; Facebook post after post (or tweet, if you are so inclined) about the curtain falling on 2012 and the grand entrance of 2013. It has been my observation that while some enjoyed a thrilling year, more of us were happy to see it on its merry way. Indeed, 2012 was a difficult year on many different levels. As a collective society we endured storms, violence, financial and economic hardships, wars, the list goes on and on. Many people seemed to experience more personal hardships in 2012. Was it my imagination? Nevertheless, the general consensus was that 2013 is to be a shining year for all. Despite the negativity that bore down on us for 12 grueling months, there is feeling in the air that 2013 has come to lift that burden off our tired, troubled shoulders.

At least it better.

Actually, I am among the optimistic fools welcoming 2013, for the past year had been anything but sunshine and flowers. While everyone is eager to embrace the joys and successes of the New Year, are all of us willing to do the work for it? It would be selfish of us to think that a year can magically swoop in and change our lives. That’s not exactly how it works. I am certain that this year will be a better one for me. How can I be so sure, you ask? It’s not just good old positive thinking, but the willingness to live positively as well.

Take 2012 for example (please take it, I don’t want to remember it! *ba da bam!* ha!) I’ll be honest, it was a bad year. Some really bad things happened to me. Over and over and over again. Days, weeks, months filled with pain, sadness, and all their downer friends. The thing is that I actually let most of these things happen to me. Some things were of course out of my control (f-you Hurricane Sandy) but the things that caused me the greatest pain for what seemed like forever did so because I refused to put an end to it. It wasn’t until I said “no more!” that the misery ended. Once I walked away from the bad in my life, suddenly things started looking up. My luck didn’t change. I simply took control of my life.

So think about this as you optimistically open your arms to welcome the New Year: what can YOU do to make it a good year? We don’t have the power to control everything, so that should make our willingness to control the things we can that much greater. If you want to change something in your life and CAN (and let’s be honest, most of the things we *can* change, we just don’t want to do what it takes) just work at it.

It is within our power to lose weight, get out of bad relationships, stop smoking/drinking/kicking people/other various bad habits, move to a new home, save money, go back to school, get a new job, and other common New Years resolutions people make. There are few excuses not to accomplish the things we want to.

Sure is better than writing another “this year sucked” status update when 2014 rolls around…

Shampoo and Tummy Raspberries

Isn’t it interesting to get a glimpse into others’ perception of you?

Expats can fall into 1 of 3 categories (maybe more or less, but for this argument’s sake, we’ll say 3)
First we have the “Gap Years”…those who spend a year or two abroad then return home according to a set time schedule. Another group would be the “lifers”…they can remain foreigners in a foreign land for 10 years to life (did I make that sound like a prison sentence?) And then there are the In-betweeners. They come, they conquer, and after a few years reach a point where enough is enough. No failures, no big dramatic events. They have spent enough time (3+ years) abroad to really get the feel of living in a place as opposed to a long term tourist, but also enough time to know that they do not want to become a lifer.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a Gap Year or a Lifer. I’m just not one of them.
Two events occurred over the course of a year that brought me to this conclusion. Much to the surprise of many people around me, significant changes in my personal life are not among these events. Difficult decisions I made in my private  life actually have little to nothing to do with the realization that my time in Turkey is coming to an end.

One year ago, Christmas. I was taking a shower at my brothers’ house. (not surprising as I make most of my most important life decisions in the shower). I took notice of the beautiful new tiles and décor from a recent remodel. I also took notice of the products on the shelves. All products I like to use, in different varieties. Shampoos, conditioners, face wash after face wash. I thought to myself, I want a shower like this. An abundance of the things I love, readily available at any time, without having to overpay some ridiculous price to compensate for taxes, customs, and foreigner-gouging. Not to mention a plumbing system that made sense to me. Something inside me started thinking…

Six months ago, Connecticut. Best Friend’s baby was lying on her changing table as I administered a serious round of raspberries on her adorable little tummy. Something came over me and I was filled with this desire to see her grow up, in person as opposed to through Facebook photos. I had already missed two years. I realized that if I continue to stay away, I will miss her growing up. That one actually hurt.

That did it.

Many other aspects of my life are impacted by the understanding that my days abroad are numbered, while my perspective on other things is certainly more positive knowing that a change is coming.

Contrary to what I have heard over the past few weeks, it didn’t come from the pressure of family and friends. It wasn’t the result of sadness or heartbreak. Political tensions played no role. It was simply the feeling that enough was enough.

I really don’t know how this is going to turn out.

But I’ve made it this far…
(and don’t worry, faithful readers. There is still time before the Exotic American returns to her native lands. And once back, there’s always the adventure of re-assimilation to write about!)

How to be a foreigner at Christmas Time

Twas the night before Christmas Eve, and the Exotic American was finally able to take a few moments out of her holiday visit home to post a blog she wrote a few days ago about being an expat during the holidays

 

*****

I write to you on from a packed commuter train on a cloudy, American morning. I was able to swing a couple weeks home for Christmas. While I miss my dear dog desperately, it’s great to be home. I arrived four days ago and, as always, spent those first days in the “buffer zone”, also known as my best friend’s home in Connecticut. I will go into the devastating events that happened on the day of my arrival another time, but for now I am just thankful to be home.

Sunday evening, I had some work to do and Best Friend had some errands to run with Baby (who talks, by way. We had conversations. Mind Blown). So I stayed back to get the work done and allow for sufficient baby face eating time upon their arrival home. I sat in the living room in front of a beautifully lit Christmas tree. Best Friend’s husband had Christmas music playing in the kitchen as he cooked us dinner (and cupcakes!). The house was filled with love, holiday spirit, and the smell of sweet, sweet cake batter. Now that is some Christmas cheer!

I was very blessed in this chance to come home for this holiday, but that hasn’t always been the case. My first two years here I couldn’t go home for the holidays. That, my faithful readers, sucked. I know how difficult it is to be in a foreign country with only 2% or so of the population sharing my religion (and even more aggravating is the fact that the other 98% thinks that Christmas is on December 31^st. Christmas = Christ. Jesus Christ. December 25^th is Christmas, the celebration of his birth. December 31^st is New Years. Get it right. Don’t argue with me) There’s no way to fully get that “home for the holidays” experience abroad, but there are ways to ease the blow. So here I offer you, from my years of experience, ways to be a foreigner at Christmas time.

First and foremost, you have to accept that despite your best efforts, it won’t be the exact replica of the holiday you are used to. Accepting that really helps to take the edge off and reduces the risk of disappointment. A successful holiday away from home usually comes from the combination of achievable past traditions and the creation of new ones. If there are things you have done back home that are possible in your new home, do them. But be willing to go the extra mile for them. For example, no canned pumpkin available for a pumpkin pie? Get a fresh one and learn how to make it yourself. Have a pumpkin mashing party with your friends.

Charlie was very helpful in the pie clean up process.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And don’t forget to decorate! “But there are no Christmas decorations where I live” you say? Yes there are, if you are willing to make them. Here are some examples of simple decorations I made myself:

Old wrapping paper in picture frames

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ribbon shaped into Christmas trees

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Old Christmas card garland

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Charlie also helped with the ribbons…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rummage through shops and grab up anything in Christmas colors to create your own fun holiday décor. Another fun idea for a party, if you ask me. But choose only guests that won’t eat the decorations (see above photo).

I suggest doing these things with friends, because it’s really important that you don’t seclude yourself. You’re not the only one away from home this holiday season. Being with those who share a similar  won’t make it any worse.  Even if your traditional holiday foods aren’t available, you can still have a great holiday meal with friends. Make substitutions, or just make anything! Do you celebrate Thanksgiving just for the Turkey or for sharing time with your family? It’s the company that matters most, not the menu.

Though this Thanksgiving menu was pretty awesome:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is possible to enjoy the holidays when you are away from home. It’s not easy, and it’s not exactly the same, but it’s still very much possible. So resist the urge to Grinch it up this holiday season! Crank up some Christmas playlists on youtube and get your ho-ho-ho on.

Warning: Over enthusiasm in the decoration process may strike fear in the hearts of roommates, regardless of species

34th Istanbul Eurasia Marathon

How do you put into words something amazing?

When you spend almost a decade of your life training your mind and body to accomplish something, and it then achieves exactly what you tell it to, how do you describe that?

How can you summarize an event that took you to a new level physically and emotionally?

It is because of these questions that it has taken me a week to write a blog about the Istanbul Eurasia Marathon, or as I like to call it, the best race I have ever run. I’ll give it a shot, mkay?

A week prior to the race, I had thrown my targeted time for the 15km leg of the marathon out the window. While my training was strong, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to complete the race in 1:30, give or take 5 mins (always giving that 5 minute buffer). The last thing I wanted was to disappoint myself, so I told myself to get out there and enjoy it no matter what my results are (and boy did I ever!)  I was excited, but part of me still had some anxiety about my time, and whether or not I could complete the race without stopping or walking. I would be happy coming in under my time from the 2009 race (1:49), a race in which I walked a lot and had suffered a lot of training injuries.

Come race day…

We started as a group of 13,000 runners, taking off in Asia, crossing the bridge over the Bosphorus Straight onto to continent of Europe. I flew down Barbaros Boulevard, passing my usual Starbucks, saying hi to Charlie as I ran past my apartment. I could hardly believe how quickly the 5km mark came, then 7km, then 8km. At 7km it occurred to me how much I was loving every second, every minute, every step. Wasn’t it just 2 weeks ago I ran a race and “hated running” at the 2km (well, when you have a fever, that’ll happen)? Wasn’t I begging for it to be over at this point? 10km behind me and I felt the one and only negative feeling: oh no, it’s almost over! I don’t want this to end. Still going on, still going strong, soaking in every moment. Running whilst trying to drink water bottles and eat apple slices (must not stop). I “ran” into the nice girl who had taken my pre-race photos and we struck up a conversation. Wait, I can talk? That means my breathing and heart rate are really strong! Gülhane Park, you bitch. The final kilometer, through a beautiful old park. Uphill. (who does that, really, it’s just mean). I remembered it well from 2009. I remember giving into that steep little mother— and walking. But not this time. With a giant, albeit semi-psychotic looking smile I ran up that park’s hill loving it even more than the 14km that came before it, knowing I had come so far, so strong, even beating my times from the race 2 weeks prior. I did not want to reach that finish line. A call came out from behind me, “YEAH JERSEY” in response to “Jersey Strong” written on the back of my shirt. A fellow Jersey Shore girl ready to cross the finish line with me. The final stretch. People lined up, cheering, supporting, complete strangers sharing the moment. The finish line came, the finish line went. As I saw the official clock read 1:33, I cried.

The high I got at the finish line took days to go down even by just a little. This race was a combination of events that made it the best running experience of my life. Strong, determined, injury-free training. Breaking personal bests. Staying focused amidst the chaos. Helping me through some very difficult personal issues, giving me strength when I might otherwise feel weak. Endorphins keeping me happy and high on my sad, stressed out days. I made some life changing decisions, some big, some small, some easy, some very very hard. But everyday I made one easy decision: go running.

Surely more races will come; maybe longer, maybe stronger. But this was my groundbreaking race. This is the race that made success in all future races possible. This was the race that combined all the previous races, the years of practice. From the “1 minute run-3 minute walk” runs, to the hills, to the parks and the roads;  from the Jersey Shore, to Southern California, to Virginia, to Phoenix  to Manhattan, to Brooklyn, to Istanbul, from Europe, to Asia. This party’s just getting started, folks.

Am I the fastest runner? No, but I am a strong runner. Right now, maybe the strongest.

Jersey Strong and Ready to Go!

Crossing Continents: From Asia to Europe

 

 

Approaching the Finish Line

1:33:17